Valentine’s Euphoria

The holiday of love is here, and for some, Valentine’s Day means feeling forgotten, unloved or lonely. The love theme behind this day can get buried under all the pressure, expectations, and mixed emotions especially for a single person. Even if you’re in a relationship, it may not be all about roses and candy for you. Some feel the pressure or fear the realities of having an unhappy Valentine’s Day because of the circumstances around their relationship. No matter which side of the fence you are on, you will be faced with the same inevitable question, “What am I going to do on Valentine’s Day?” So, do not go into this day unarmed or it will be a battle.

First of all, don’t allow the romance-filled television ads and well-meaning friends convince you that you are miserable just because you’re not part of a two-some. This is neither the day to finally go for a candlelight dinner with some close buddy of yours, it is not the day to use and abuse for your own interests. You cannot get so tired or miserable of being single that you settle and go out with some buddy on 14th just to fill up the day. You will go out to the restaurant and see all of these other happy couples and it will make you want what they have. You’ll compare your life to their life as you snuggle up to someone you don’t intend to build anything with.

‘Tonight’ is fun to you because you can pretend that you have a real relationship. After dinner, you’ll go back and forth with yourself thinking whether you should go home together. After all you’re having such a good time, he/she makes you laugh and you have everything under control. If you are not guarded, one thing leads to another. The Bible tells us that “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end, it leads to death.” Proverbs 14:12. You may not see yourself suffering right away, but when you’re living outside God’s will for your life and taking your life into your OWN hands, you will suffer. You’d rather deal with temporary loneliness than have to deal with some possible detrimental consequences of temporary pleasure.

14th Feb is not a day to burn photos of your ex either! Lol. Don’t be so consumed with the jealousy and resentment of what could’ve been. It’s not the day to stalk them on social media to see who they are with now and leave them “Mtaachana tu” comments. Don’t bask in that misery. Your ex whether they were good or not good gets to move on and that’s how life is supposed to be. Channel your energy into something positive.

If you are dating, be careful not to over-romanticize this day. Do not propose prematurely on this day. It is very easy to get caught up in the euphoria of the day and abandon reality. If you were not ready to be engaged on February 13th, what makes you think that anything will be different the today? Do not suspend your logic in attempt to be romantic. Guard your heart. If you want something good, it will cost you something. Many people will celebrate Valentines Day and wish they were in your shoes if they were single. They will wish they would have slowed down, trusted God and NOT married the person they married. They had all of the warning signs but instead, they ignored them. They liked the ‘IMAGE of’ and didn’t count cost.

If you are married – Hallelujah – make the best out of this day. Make plans and follow through. However, if you have unresolved issues in your marriage, don’t use Valentines Day as a band aid to cover those wounds. On 15th Feb, you will have the same issues once the band aid fall off and the valentine euphoria is out of the window. Be intentional in solving any issues in a heathy way and environment.

Finally, if you are single, it’s ok to be single. There’s nothing wrong with you. You have to be single before you are in a relationship which is perfectly ok! If you have someone in mind, please watch out your motivations on this day before asking them out because the stakes are higher on this day than any other day and can lead to greater disappointment. Make plans based on the other person’s interests and according to what is appropriate to your relationship level. A person may perceive as pressure when pushed beyond the appropriate levels of commitment and intimacy. Don’t jump into conclusions. If you are not sure of what to buy or how to plan the date, there is nothing wrong with asking for advice. Close friends and mentors are always a great source of information.

Valentines Day and any other day of the year is what you make of. Be happy and trust God where you are.

Happy Valentine’s Day.