YOU CAN DISARM ENVY

“Mo, you have pretty shady people around you”  Oouuch!!

This were the words of my high school best friend. We were recently catching up over lunch how our year has been and I was recounting to her how I’ve had quite an unpleasing year. From friends to family members, I have had once thriving relationships turned sour. We analyzed every detail and one thing was constant – envy, jealousy or comparison was at play. In the previous year, God had spoken clearly to us that He would realign our circle in a major way by removing people in our lives because of envy and I honestly even forgot about it as soon mainly because i had not perceived the weight of what was coming. What followed after a while was not what i’d have even imagined. One relationship after the other came crumbling. It was not strangers, neighbors or colleagues; It was friends. It was family members. It was people we held dearly.

When someone is struggling, you can pray for them with energy and sincerity but once the blessing of God begins to explode in their life, something else explodes in your heart too and what was once pity now turns to envy. Or you want the best for someone when you’re ahead of them, but also want them to slow down once they surpass you in some areas. You see, the crazy thing about envy is that it can be hidden for years and you never know until something triggers it, it is an iniquity of the heart that is not seen until occasion calls it forth –  much like unforgiveness.

You may be reading this saying to yourself, “well, I don’t think I am envious of anyone..” That may be true but I encourage you to examine your heart carefully just to be sure, because many times, we aren’t even conscious of envy. We may feel it stirring within us, but we fail to identify it because we assume such feelings are “natural” and envy sneaks in without announcing itself. It slips in unnoticed.

Envy, simply put is a feeling of discontent and ill will because of another person’s advantages, possessions or success. Suppose you go to work or even church for example and you see a brother with a new car. All the way you were in high spirits and rejoicing until you saw their new car and suddenly you are not happy and rejoicing as much. Suddenly a train of thoughts comes to your mind: “Why does he have a new car? He didn’t need it as much. I’m the one who needs a new car. His old car was better than the one I have now. I have been standing in faith for a new car and he has not!” and you resent he has received a new car. Or suppose you see sister X in a beautiful new dress. As you sit down next to her, you notice how drab your dress is compared to hers and suddenly, you feel ugly and self-conscious, and resentment comes that you don’t have as nice a dress as she does. Can you relate? Watch out for thoughts like that. They’re warning signs of envy and if you keep thinking them, you’ll end up unhappy about another’s advantage or success. You’ll find yourself on the steep road of envy.

But I have good news. Just because you had an envious thought doesn’t mean you have envy in your heart. Those thoughts are just invitations from the devil. Be quick to recognize those envious thoughts and resist them. You can disarm Envy. YES! You can disarm envy and jealousy by training your mind and your tongue to do and speak kindness. When feelings of envy come, refuse to feed the feeling with thoughts and comparison, and instead choose to say something kind about the person or situation you feel envious about. When you do this over time, it weakens envy’s hold on you. Speaking and doing actions of kindness will change your focus from envy to gratitude and that shift brings peace instead of bitterness.

Here are a few ProTips;

1. Speak blessings over others even when it is hard. When envy stirs, say something kind INTENTIONALLY. Compliment someone’s success, celebrate their joy. Speaking blessings shifts your focus from envy to love. Romans 12:14 ………bless and do not curse
2. Practice gratitude. Envy and jealousy thrive where gratitude is lacking. Each day look at what God has given you and realign your heart with contentment. 1 Thess 5:18 in everything give thanks…..
3. Renew your mind with God’s truth. Meditate on scriptures that remind you of your worth in Christ. When you know you are loved and chosen, envy, jealousy and comparison loses its power. Rom 12:2 …..do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…
4. Surround yourself with encouraging voices. A healthy community helps keep envy in check. Stay around people who speak life, gratitude and humility and learn to do the same. 1 Thess 5:11 ……edify one another
5. Love your uniqueness and other people’s differences. Understand that no two people are exactly alike. Each of us is created uniquely foe a purpose. Psm 139:14 …..I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works.

Stay in faith and keep walking in love. Refuse to let envy block the path of your blessing.

LOVE EXCERCISE: When was the last time you were envious of someone’s belongings or blessings or talents? As they come to mind, see the person and begin to thank God for The Blessing He has poured into their lives and thank Him for all He has poured into your life, too!